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Farhan.
I'm a 90's bitch.
Simple and fickled minded.
and that fuct camera is in hilarious. :]

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Saturday, May 26, 2007

Its 12.14am.


The rain is relentless. The dark cloud fending off much of the moon serene light, only mercifully filtering a few rays which petruded off a few clouds. The sound of crickets breaks the silence of the night while I reminisce about the past.

Every thought of her makes my heart ache, and to think of the joy she shares with someone else, definitely inconceivable. I try to set an illusion, yet I myself was endrowned into it. I can't seem to find my way out of this mind boggling abyss of lies and deceit, which I had brought upon myself. The love which was so elusive caused this downfall and all those heartbreaking moments which could definitely steer any beings off their sanity. If only I could forget about everything which I had sacrificed for and vindicate myself of this mysterious thing called 'LOVE'. I would atone for my wrongdoings, just to forget about her. Raptureness, or euphoria, it seems so distant from me. My depression is just too eminent to overcome and it keeps crawling in my skin.

at

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Sorry for not bloggin for awhile..Was busy revising though. Let me recall, what happened during this past few days.

Let's start from Monday. Had jamming session AGAIN at Rhythm Masalah. Seriously, I believe that Rhythm is the best jamming studio in Yishun despite the fact that Lee's is well known throughout Singapore. Rhythm has the latest equipments in contrast with Lee's. We had jammed a few times at Lee's, and the drumset was like BULLCRAP ahh can? The amplifiers, cymbals, high-hat, tomtom, snare and all are god damn ANCIENT sia...Haha

Ok..Then Tuesday as usual, attended school...Slogged my ass to school with the idea of rehearsals after school with makes my attendance at school worthwhile. And when it's time for rehearsals, WahhhH!! CANCELLED!!! CCB!!! Besok Talentime sia...How can like dat one lehh...So, just went off and got back home. Surprisingly, I slept earlier than expected. Slept at 7.30pm..ZzZzZzZZzZZzZzZZZzzZZZZzZ

Woke up at 4.30am and felt pissed over nothing. This is definitely strange. Haha..Since I woke up earlier than expected, packed all the necessary items for today. And yes, TODAY was talentime...I just got back from it.

The performance, personally was ok to me despite the fact everyone was soooooo nervous. Especially our lead singer. He was sweating like crazy. But kudos to him, and to my bandmates whom did exceptionally well for the performance. The rack toms and the floor toms were abit off tune but we still managd to pull it off. BUT, we didn't win though. Oh wells...At least we enjoyed ourselves. Ouh ya, my classmates and my bandmate's classmates were extremely hysterical!

They SHOUTED and Sang Along and CHEERED and all those which definitely boost our confidence, knowing that no matter what, they still support us. Haha.. They're the best. Eventhough there were a few mischaps, they didn't stop cheering.. haha.

And after knowing that our band didnt win, two of my close friends walked out of the hall..Haha..Trying to prove that we deserved to win!..Haha..They're so fucking funny siak...Well, thats vaguely about it.

Till then..


-An-

at

Sunday, May 13, 2007

The Mysterious Thing Called LOVE ......

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return, do not take advantage, do not cause pain.

How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time .

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love.

They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.Love always has been and always will be a mystery.

Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.

i came across someone's blog who i dont even know and i read her first post.it inspired me you know.and hopefully,it will help you people whos heart has been broken or am broken because you had to break another person's heart.

at

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Wednesday..Its 3.46pm..And I didn't went to my S.R.P(Structured Revision Programme) today. Didn't feel like it. The weather is so cooling and is much more suitable for sleeping and relaxing..Haha..

Gonna go for jamming session at around 6pm. Tomorrow's our rehearsal. Decided to play 'Seven Nation Army' by The White Stripes tomorrow only as we want to prevent the masses to know our original song. So yeah, you get the idea. To have the element of surprise by our side..Haha..What rubbish...

Today, the atmosphere in class was kind of awkward. I don't know why. The mood was lugubrious and the usually garrulous students are quiet. I believe the weather may be the reason why. Relentless rain and constant winds making all of us sleepy.

And I'm sleepy now too...zZzZZzZZZZzzZZzZZZzZzZzZ

at

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Today is quite a hectic day for me...Tiring too..
Well, today was supposed to watch Labah-labahman with Bob, but due to unforseen circumstances, had to cancel that plan for the day.

Went jamming at 2pm. Since our previous lead singer decided to back out, we had a hard time finding another alternative.
The new singer didn't really reach the expectation. His voice is so *BLEARGH*.

NO COMMENTS ABOUT THAT!

Rhythm masalah, Room number 3 is the sex! Seriously...
The drumset is so fucking cool...4 cymbals..Wider range for me to fill in fills and improvise on the routines. So started jamming and was abit rusty on the drums.
2 weeks never jam..Mind you..

Played the song by 'Are you gonna be my girl' by Jet. And followed by 'Suzie' by Boy kill Boy..I love this song alot!
Unfortunately, due to the new lead singer's voice, my mood was affected and the 'semangat' to play wasnt there anymore. Therefore alot of cock-ups surfaced. And the distortion for one of the guitars didn't fit into the song.
Today's jamming session wasn't really fulfilling. Left the jamming studio full of apprehension.

And Thursday is the rehearsals..
FUCK....

Oh ya, my band tried to play 'Tears dont fall' by Bullet For My Valentine. HAHA...The beats to the drums seems impossible. I must learn it somehow. Uptempo and double-pedal.....

I feel so much more better now. A huge burde has been lifted from my shoulders. I don't feel the pain and heartaches anymore. Alhamdullilah.


-An-

at

Friday, May 4, 2007

Ok guys, Opened up a new blog for some apparent reason.
Dont want this "somebody" to read my life stories and then incriminate me....

Oh well, life has got to move on. Seriouly, whats the point crying over spilled milk?.. She's happy, so am I.

And I would really like to thank my friends who helped me during those hardship..Shak, Farah, Din, Bob just to name a few...Thanks alot guys...

School is normal eventhough there are a few awkward moments. Yet, I have to look on the bright side and realise that the grass is greener on the other side.

I've vindicated my name and I hope it stays that way and no more problems would surface. Ouh ya, my band qualified for the finals!!

YEEHAA!!!

Tomorrow is our jamming session, and hope I still know the beats to it..
Playing drums are the sex man....SERIOUS...
Thats all...

BOY KILL BOY rocks my socks!!

at