Time check 2.25am.

I just can't sleep. I think too much. Maybe I think too much about the future. Thinking about the future scares the shit out of me. I have this mindset whereby, whatever you do now, will affect you in the future, whatever drastic decisions you make now will secure yourself somewhere you would not know instantly.

Sometimes I wish I do not have this habit. Some may say it is good, as it makes me think about my actions and it's consequences. Yet they don't realise it's too much of a pressure and I can blame no one else but myself. Before I sleep, I think alot. Think about what I have been doing is enough to secure me a good future, is it enough for me to at least make both my parents proud of me, or is it enough for me to be stable.

I think so much, I came to realise it may lead to something else. Something I wouldn't want to happen. I just need to stop thinking so much. I hope someone can tell me how. Or someone who I can take my mind off things.

Let it come naturally, never force yourself. I got to keep that in mind. I hate myself for nothing.

Thats fuckin' funny, no? Fuck.